Clear Beauty
by Tom Rhymer
Summary: Grimmichi. The last thing Grimmjow needed was change, something different. He had the perfect life, anyway. Ichigo's world was already different. He was just waiting to change someone else's. Autism. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Welcome! This is my first story, so please...*sniff, sniff* ...be gentle.

I would like for everyone to do the best they can by reading and reviewing, because it is my legit crack. I LOVE you guys's opinions. so, uh...here we goes I says.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of this. Nothing I own. Nothing.

ANOTHER THING!

Before you read, I would like everyone to know that even though I am writing about...autism...in the story, please don't feel like I don't know what I'm talking about, because my mom has been a Special Ed teacher for 19 years, and I'm also in the Buddy Club at school, which is where you help Special Ed kids, every day. So yes, I do know a few things about autism. But again, I'm not one myself. So I apologize if I get anything wrong.

They **are** like...for real, the NICEST people you will ever meet. No joke.

Onwards.

**Summary:** Grimmichi. The last thing Grimmjow needed was change, something different. He had the perfect life, anyway. Ichigo's world was already different. He was just waiting to change someone else's. Autism. AU.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the first chapter of...**Effacer Beauté**. (Which is French for Clear Beauty.)

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There isn't one place in the entire world I would rather be, then being alone. I reach into my worn out pocket and grab a cigarette. Lighting it, I immediately inhale the fumes, high. Higher and higher until I can't breathe. It suffocates me, but I like that stuff. I still shed a tear though. This isn't what my mom would've wanted me to do. She loved me. More than anybody else. She just, had to die. Because, that was all she knew. Everything she saw in the morning, was death. And everything she saw in her dreams, was death. It broke her down. It made her crazy. It destroyed her goodness and her gentleness. And her love. Oh god, her love.

And I had that.

I really did have that. We always did everything together. Go outside, play card games, dance, sing, school work, skating, telling jokes. All the things a real mother possessed. Kisses. Hugs.

I inhale some more. Remembering my past. I promised myself I would forget. It's been 2 years.

I hug my knees together and shove my head between them. This is always the way I've forgotten. I inhale again, high. Higher and higher, but this time, I break.

My tears soak up against my jeans, and I stop crying immediately because, well because they are the only pair I have. I wipe my nose harshly with the back of my hand and wince. It was raw. It always was.

I don't need change. My life is perfect, after all. I wish for nothing else in my life. Difference causes weakness. That's what dad always said.

I look around the abandoned street and sigh heavily, dropping my cigarette. I still feel high, but in just 9 minutes and 14 seconds, it will go away, and the numbing pain will be back in my heart. I snort and fall back, thinking about mom. And a nice, comfortable bed. And a pillow. It's been forever since I touched one. God. I unconsciously feel my shirt pocket, just in case it fell out. But no, I could still feel the wrinkly texture of the 5 dollar bill. My works pay for the week. It's the best I could get.

I lift my lips into a half-smile and finally close my eyes. As soon as I can feel myself come back from my high, I curl up in a ball and exhale cold air. Thinking, _Change is bad. Most definitely. Difference causes weakness. Always. _But I see my moms caring eyes and loving kisses in my head. I cry some more and more until I am empty. There is still a burning feeling inside of me, but I just had to wonder, _Maybe__.__..maybe that's exactly what I need. Aren't I already weak? What more could I possibly get weak from? I do need change. Change would make the difference. A difference I am willing to take. _

I've had enough. This is it. It is time to change. Grimmjow, you need someone's difference. Oh god. My bodies shivers, but in my dreams, I am relaxed.

Calm.

I am finally able to breathe.

* * *

_One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. _The beat of the song I hear makes my close my eyes.

My mom died when I was 4. It didn't matter though, because she left me and my dad and my two sisters. That wasn't the right thing to do. And ever since then, I have felt this icy cold burn in my body. And it still feels very uncomfortable.

My dad cares. He does. I can tell. He cares about me enough to keep me. He knows what's wrong with me. I can see it in his eyes every day. And I wish I could tell him that I can hear the music play in my head, but I can't. Not since I was 2.

That was when I got it. Or at least, when it started to show. My autism.

I was born with it, I think. And I also think that I was the reason my mom left us. I was different.

But they all thought of it as a curse. So they started blaming everything and everyone. And why me of all the world to have this thing called **autism. **I had no say in anything, because I still thought of myself as normal. I mean, I AM still normal in my head. I can think regularly and I can see regularly and hear and all that. It's still sharp.

The only difference, was when I started collapsing in on myself. I was always in my head. My own world, my own song. And the music just kept playing nonstop. But it was never a burden. They were wonderful noises. And they comforted me.

I still go to school, regular school. But I don't have any friends there. I don't have any friends anywhere. Which makes me sad and confused, because I always say things to them like, _Good morning! _Or, _How are you today? _But no one seems to listen. No one seems to act like they understand. _  
_

I need someone to hear me and love me and make me feel normal. I need someone to need ME. I need to feel wanted.

I know, though.

I know what I do and act like is different that normal people's. Than my peers. Than my family. Even my music won't help sometimes.

Sometimes I feel numb all over and accept death. I scream and shout at the top of my lungs and wish to die. That's when I feel bad for my dad, because he has to deal with my random outbursts. I even kicked him hard in the face one time, refusing to calm down.

I can't control my body. It is hard and I stopped trying long ago.

Usually, of what I have heard, autistic people have this one specific tic they do. All the time. And whenever they are upset, they do that tic for a very long time until they feel content. Like flopping your hands. Or pulling your hair. Or blinking rapidly.

My dad says that I hum a lot. That is my tic. Sometimes, I hum my music so loud, that people at school will slap me, or beat me.

And that I might put my fingers tightly in my ears when I am too stressed while humming. It makes my inner world come out more stronger than the other. So my stress will go down.

But, my family, they all think I am just ignoring them or going crazy. Which I am NOT. I despise that word. Crazy. People say that to me all the time, and it makes me angry.

But there is an even greater word that makes me afraid. I am frightened when I hear it and I lose myself even more. Down, down I go into my own black hole. The word: **alone. **

I breathe slowly and deeply to calm myself down and continue with counting the beats of my song in my head. _One, two, three. One, two, three. _Feeling better instantly.

But still aching for need.

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**A/N: **Hello again! What do you think? Please Review and stuff because this story WILL be going somewhere and this is NOT a one-shot. It will be multi-chaptered. God bless you all! And thank you for reading.

I AM READY! For your comments...of course.

-Tom Rhymer-


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Je t'aime...Te amo...Ich liebe dich...For real, yo. Bless all you ahmahzing people out there who read my story. To start out with, I got exactly 96 visitors just in like, a couple days. How wicked is this chizbit? Its my first story, and I'm just...shocked, is all. I got some very nice and amusing reviews, even though only 5, but gravy that's a lot, mkay? I guess ya'll sorta want me to keep going, because I'm anxious to see what happens next. To tell the truth? It WILL start out slow to begin with, but I swayyyyre it'll get exciting and big and fun and awesome and it will blow your tortilla.

Oh! And I turned 47 on the fifth! Wait...what?

I LOVE YOU! In case you had no idea what I said at the beginning.

Onwards!

**Disclaimer: **Dis claimer right here? (You get it, you get it?) Aint mine ta use. So, errr, nope. I own absolutely none of this.

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"Watch where you're going, retard!" The red-head yelled. He shoved me just enough to lose my train of thought and lose my place in line, which was right behind Donovan Hilfiger. I was not in his way, and he knew that.

But I forgot about him immediately and shut myself down again, holding my books tightly in between my arms and waiting for us to go to next period. I checked my watch and...oh God. We only have 2 minutes and 13 seconds until class starts. I'm learning about algebra. It's really really hard and I don't like looking at it. Makes me jittery and twitchy.

But the color red was an agitating color to look at, it makes me feel itchy. It wouldn't go away. He came back and I mentally winced. These people don't understand. I need to go to class.

I think his name was Renji or something. All I know about him is he is the captain of the football team and doesn't like anyone. Not one person. I bet you he wouldn't be mean if her started to like people. I wish someone would like me.

"Come on, you spaz. 'Follow the leader', remember?" More laughing. I thought he left. 1 minute and 39 seconds. More shoving.

My teacher, Mr. Urahara, let's me listen to my i-pod every day if I'm good. Which I have been. But if I don't get to my class, he would think I wasn't being good. It wasn't my fault. I needed my music. My song was drowning quickly with Renji still nearby, and I couldn't concentrate on anything.

His face was really close to mine, and I can subconciously feel my fingers start to itch near my elbows. I looked down immediately, because he was intimidating and it was hard for me to look at anyone's face, really. 51 seconds. _Move, please. _I thought, trying to move out of his way. I don't understand why he picks me of all people to pick on, considering the 2,139 people at my school. But he just shows his white teeth more. And more, until my song is completely missing within me.

I start to hyperventilate and cover my ears in hope of finding the beat again. I can feel my sweat climb down my face, probably mixed with tears. I reach quickly to wipe it off, but _his_ hands come up to stop my motions.

"Aww..." He pouts mockingly. "Did I upset the crybaby again?" I sigh deeply and hum loud enough to rid of his face. I try to free my hand, but there was no use. Either way, he was a football player, and I was an autistic retard.

His grip on my wrists were causing me to shake my head rapidly and hum even louder. Why wasn't anyone stopping this? Why weren't there ever any teachers around? _You're hurting me. _I try to speak out, because he doesn't understand, but all that came out was mumbling and a crescendo of pain. 10 seconds. I can still make it.

Red-head laughs again and pulls my left wrist hard enough for me to trip over my own feet and fall flat on my face. Oh, God. It didn't really hurt all that badly, but it was the search for my books that was difficult. Papers landed everywhere and all I could do was shake my head in agony and shame. I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. Dad warned me of this.

"Oops. So sorry, sweetheart. See ya!" Racing down the hallway with his friends still laughing nearby, Renji went to class. Hopefully not tardy. I don't want him getting in trouble.

I get up and grab my papers in a rush, placing them inside my books without care. I don't run in the hall, because that isn't what you are supposed to do, so I try to find a pace fast enough to get there. I whimper out when the books got to be too heavy in my bruised wrists. Looking down when raching my class door, I sigh heavily and hum my mom's lullaby. I touch the tip of my i-pod in my pocket just incase her asks for it. Because I wasn't being good.

I looked up at the sky and asked my mother, _Please, mom. I still want to be good. Please, please, please. Please, please, please. _One, two, three. One, two, three. And just like that, my song was back. Right where I left off. I actually smiled. My song was just getting to the good part. The cellos. God, how I love cellos. I wanted one ever since I was little, but there has never been a way to tell my dad. He would always get me a book. I just put them on the shelf mixed with other books he gave me. I've never read them. Barely touched them.

I can see my teacher wave at me to come in, so I quickly obey and open the door. Immediately, other special ed students look at me, or atleast near me, and I feel better. Because they understand me. Just as much as i understand them.

"Ichigo? Why are you...Oh. Please, go ahead and take a seat, Ichigo." He smiles at me as I turn my body towards my desk. He gives me his 'I know what happened' smile and motions playfully at his ears. Signifying that I can still listen to my music. I bow my head in respect and sit down. There was already addition problem worksheets on my desk, so I reached in my back pocket and grabbed my only pencil. I know all of this stuff, I am a senior after all, but I can't usually express my intelligence. It's even hard to write my name in a straight line sometimes.

I sigh once more and start my work. I thank mom for helping me and put my earphones in my ears while pressing the play button. I can automatically feel comfort and control as I concentrate on addition.

This isn't exactly how I would want my Thursday to go, so I close my eyes in contentment. I think about my family and Mr. Urahara and the cello. And I know that's not all I need in my life. There still is that one little whole in my heart that won't go away. But I smile anyway. Because right now? Right now I feel invinsible.

And I hope Renji feels the same. I hope he finds a patch in his heart, too. Because he might not know me, and I might not know him, but I want to. And that's enough for me.

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**A/N: **Hello again. Please review and jazz. I love all of you! Thanks for reading. I hope you liked it. Grimmjow will be the next chapter, of course. So, sorry you didn't see him in this one.

-Tom Rhymer-


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: You people. My gravy. You people. I love thee. I really do.

Now, this chapter goes out to RubyCainAzul and *Les*...He knows who I'm talking about...hehe. They've both been amazing people. God bless you both. This is dedicated all to you two. Aaaaaaand the fans...of course...

It's Grimmjow's turn! Yerya!

This should be the last chapter of boringness. I swored, did not I? Yerp.

Now, the editing might not be as good as the other chapters because I broke two fingers and its really hard to type right now. But, I love you. And that's it.

Now you, you gorgeous human being you...Onwards!

(Sorry about the delay guys...exams! Sorry about the shortness, too. I pwomise it'll be longer. MUCH longer next time.)

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

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_Pitter, patter. _The rough sound of squeaky shoes against the wet sidewalk woke me from my sleep. I yawned loudly and brushed my fingers ever so softly against my hair. "Wait up, mommy!" A little boy yelled. I watched them intently without them knowing and yearned for that to be me. I sighed longingly and sat up a little more. The drizzling rain was beginning to get a little harder now, so it was harder to watch the family continue on their way. The last thing I heard before they were too far, was the women's reply, "Slow down, honey. Don't fall," followed by a low chuckle. Breathing in and out slowly, I searched for a bigger problem to keep me distracted.

My good friend, Gin Ichimaru, is the only one who usually lets me spend the night at his place. He was supposed to pick me up an hour ago. I gave him his money. This was our deal. Not that I was keeping up or anything, but this isn't the first time that this has happened. I know I trust him. With my life. But he can be trivial sometimes. And selfish. But tonight's even worse than the others. He just _can't _be late tonight. I need to be safe. And I know I will be with him. He's basically my life-line right now, he's all I've got.

Tonight's my due-date. I had to give Shirosaki his $50 by tonight. Or he'll send his people, and I know I won't be able to fight them all off. I'd be dead.

Huffing in contemplation, I tried to forget about it and move on. But I can still feel the pain from what happened last time, and that was from _giving _him what I owe. He just gave me his boisterous smile and cackled while my limbs became numb with his torture. He didn't stop until I begged. And afterwards, I just laid there, on the ground, and cried like a little bastard that I am. I don't want that happening again.

"Cigarette?" A voice behind me asked. I winced and tried to ignore the buzzing sound that started in my head. It's like a hummingbird gave birth to a hundred babies. My lips were frozen against my forearm. It was so bad, I'd prefer chattering.

Gin coughed and ordered me to get up. He roughly grabbed my arms and muttered, "Come on. Lets go." My weak knees kept giving out, but the look on Gins face said otherwise.

I sighed heavily and finally found my strength to stand properly. Even though the whole world was tilted, just like how it feels when I'm drunk, I really really wanted to get off the streets tonight.

Gin put his left arm around my shoulders and basically carried me all the way to his apartment. The feeling of being a nuisance to the best friend I have wasn't good. It caused the hummingbirds in my head to control my thoughts again.

I closed my eyes sharply and hissed when I landed on his couch. It was yellowing and decaying, the patterns on it just about gone. But it was way more comfortable than sidewalk. Gin noticed how troubled I looked and sat down next to me.

His smile was of sympathy and his eyes opened wide enough for me to see the ocean-blue colors. His hands were twitching, he didn't know whether or not to touch me. It was actually awkward see him like this.

Finally, Gin reached out and grabbed my hand in his, twirling our thumbs together. He looked up at me, eyes wide, and muttered, "You know I love you, right? You're like a brother had ne'er had." I smiled back at him, but immediately looked away. I felt ashamed; of course I knew that. But to hear him say it, made me feel so good inside.

But of course, everything changes eventually. Not all things are in my control. I never saw this coming, and I'll never forget. What Gin said next, will forever confuse me. But I owe him my life for it.

"But I can't stand to see you like this anymore. That's why you're...living with me now." My whole face slackened of all emotion and waited for him to laugh and tell me he was joking, because NOONE wants me. I'm a nuisance.

He continued without wavering, "But...I sort of..." He gazed to the side, away from me. "Enrolled you at a school," his voice was so low, I thought I was hearing things. The hummingbirds were returning. I closed my eyes and shook my head fast. This can't be true. I must've just made that up in my head. He wouldn'tve done that for me. Nobody would have. Ever.

"W-what..." I kept shaking my head in disbelief. But his smile finally reached his eyes and he repeated, "You're going to school, Grimm."

Was this Heaven? No. It couldn't be. Not Heaven. Not what my mom told me about when I was a kid. That place was for good boys and girls, not me. I was forbidden from there. I don't deserve it.

But if it was true. Somehow in this world, if it was true, then Gin is my Guardian Angel.

I closed my eyes and sighed one last time. _Thank you, God. Thank you so much. _

The hummingbirds were gone.

* * *

**A/N: **Whew. *wiping sweat off forehead* There you go. I love you. Yay. Yep. Done. I'm uh...a little tired. Mhmm. But either way, I love you.

SO! Please read and rev...well I mean, if youre down here that probably means you read it, right? Yerya. Anyways.

Review please? Oh! And do you mind giving me suggestions? Of how they meet in particular. That'd be great.

Mkay. Imma rest my broken fingers now. They ache. :)


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: ***Whistles* I can't even. I'm done. See you later. Mhmm...

But anyways, thanks for everyone sticking around and readin' 'n stuff.

OH MY WORD, GUYS! I AM LIKE so excited...Man of Steel. Two more days. My life is like...no words...Im dying. Please go to my funeral...But for real, Henry Cavill is like, basically the only thing I live for now. He's perfect. Alrighty.

Here goes! They finally meet! And please everyone, tell me how I did, okay? It was hard. *Whistles*

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

I glance behind me towards Gin one last time. He gives me an encouraging smile and ruffles my hair quickly before leaving in his car. I can see the tracks on the road left over from the tires. If I didn't know any better, it seems like Gin is desperate to get away from me.

I grab ahold onto my brand-new book bag and start whistling a random tune in my head. Fixing my hair- damn you Gin- I finally enter the building.

The doors are pretty huge, which probably meant there was at least 2-3,000 people here at this school. Damn. I've never attended a real life school, so all of my hopes and dreams about it still stands strong.

I am a senior, 17 years old. I don't care what classes I'm taking, but Gin does, so of course I have to at least try.

I step my right foot inside the school and sigh in contempt. It already feels like a dream. I might actually be able to do something with my life. I close my eyes and imagine people everywhere, hanging out with their friends, riding on skateboards, laughing and playing normally.

Once I step my other foot in though, it was an absolute 360. _Noone_ was "hanging out". More like _highing up. _Just about everyone was doing drugs in the hallway. I wanted to get away from this shit, not be a part of it again. None of them know how much it can destroy your life. Look at me, I'm living on the streets. No mom. Careless dad. And how did it get this way? I started "hanging out" with the wrong people. They said it'll be fun. They said it'll be safe. I laugh in shame, and think how wrong they were.

The first words I hear in my new school were even worse. Is this for real? Or am I still day dreaming in my corner waiting to get pummeled by Shirosaki? This doesn't sound real. The hell has Gin gotten me into. Thought this was a _school._

"Hey, tough bitch! Watch where yer goin'!" I feel someone run straight into me on purpose, and I wobble a little to the left. Da hell?

I turn around in mock frustration and the first thing I notice on this guy was his hair. You can obviously tell its not real from the coloring of it. The redness was starting to make me sick. At least my blue looks believable.

i smirk to myself and look into his eyes, not deterred by his movements. "Yer hair real, punk?" I laugh and raise my finger to point at his pineapple-shaped hair. I look down slightly to notice a scowl on his face and I continue to laugh. How pathetic.

All he does is push me a little enough to get me out of his way of walking and mutters a whatever before leaving. First five minutes and I'm already making enemies. How appealing.

I started to walk with my head held high and pretend that that feud didn't happen. I've seen it all before.

I was about to enter my first period class a little early since I was new, but I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I walked smack into someone, dropping all of his books on the floor. I picked them up immediately and said, "I'm so sorry about that. I wasn't paying attention." I finally collect them all and stand back up to the other guy.

The first thing I notice about him? Yes, he does have absolutely crazy ass orange hair, but that's not the first thing I saw. The first thing I saw, was his big smile. It literally sent chills down my spine. I tried to get rid of this feeling, so I looked away quickly. This guy also has the prettiest most adorable eyes I've ever seen. I allowed a little smile to rest on my lips.

"Here you go." I say while handing him his books. Once he collects them, he looks up finally and meets my eyes. Or at least, I think he does.

He gives me that same perfect smile and briefly nods in thanks. Oh God. What if he's a mute. Oh God, he can't talk. What am I supposed to do? He won't like me.

The guy reaches one of his hands out from underneath his books and places it on my shoulder, running his thumb on the clothing beneath. We look at each other for a while until I hear multiple feet stop behind me.

Someone whistles pretty loud, so I turn around sharply and narrow my eyes at the same red head from before. He smirks at the both of us, and I'm about to responds when I hear something again. I turn around and I widen my eyes. The guy I was with before had his eyes closed and he was humming really really loudly. He dropped his books on the ground in a loud bang and shoved his index fingers in his ears, shaking his head.

The first thought on my mind was, "Is he okay?" I didn't have the chance to ask.

Pineapple snorts and walks right passed me and straight towards the other guy. He doesn't even notice the other not paying attention. But I gasp when he pushes him down so hard that he lands sprawled out on the floor. Like he was playing dead.

I had a frown take over my whole body and I couldn't believe what I just witnessed. There were people everywhere watching this take place and not one person decided to do something. Most of them were laughing with the pineapple ass. Why was he being a load of shit? Why was _everyone_ being dicks?

I huffed in bewilderment and threw my book bag on the ground, right next to the other's books. I had enough of this.

I quickly reach out to the kid, not caring if he's still humming and moving his head like a crazy person, and touch his upper arm. He flinches away from me slightly and continues to lay on the ground hopeless while everyone laughs mockingly. "Are you alright? That guy. He's such an ass. Don't worry though, I got your back. Don't you worry." But he doesn't respond. Still flailing this way and that, I decide to wrap my arms around his shoulder and chest while giving everyone else a glare.

I whisper to him that everything will be fine and I'd take care of it. He doesn't flinch this time, so I think he's coming back to reality. He sniffles softly and it made me ten times more pissed off. Did this guy just make him cry? I roll my eyes in annoyance and lay next to him. Protecting him.

I finally look back up to everyone else, catching the red heads gang- if that- and I clench my jaw. "The hell's wrong with you people. Huh?!" I stare at all the other people. "You should feel a hella shamed a yer selves! Wha' kinda shit school is this pickin' on innocent kids!" I glance down at the kid I'm holding. His beautiful eyes widen in shock. Oh God. This happens often. I can see it on his face.

Pineapple ass shoots me a domesticated smirk and kicks my book bag and the books all over the hallway. Everyone immediately rushed out of there before something happened.

"Why you protectin' a retard, tough bitch?" He still has that damn smirk on his face. Kneeling down right in front of both of us. The other guy is still, quiet. Reaching one of his hands out to rest on my knee. I quickly look at him and give him a smile.

"Why are you calling him a retard..." I stand all of a sudden and grab a hold of his shirt hard. Looking directly into his eyes. Waiting for an answer.

"Because, he is a retard..." I laugh with sarcasm and push him a little harder in the chest. "For real!" He mutters, I had enough. I bring my hand back in a fist to punch him where it'd hurt, but the other guy caught it in his small one behind me. I give him a look and mutter, "Hey, kid. Watcha doin'?"

He shakes his head rapidly and says, "N-nngh...nngh...Nnoghhh..." My eyebrows rise in admiration and I soon understand. No matter what people give him, he doesn't like violence himself. It makes me want to know him more. He seems like a wonderful person to know.

I let go, red head running down the hall to his class. He was panting.

I roll my eyes and grab our stuff that was on the ground, keeping his in my hands. He keeps his head down, looking at the floor and smiling slightly.

I looked at him and I couldn't help what came out of my mouth next, it just came out. "I love your smile..." He reaches out to grab my shoulder again and tugs, making me look at him. He nods at me and lowers his head to the floor. I don't understand.

He gestured for me to follow him, which I do.

We finally got to his class, I hand him his stuff and was about to leave when I feel another tug on my shirt. I turn around and he opens his mouth to say something. I listen intently, with my eyes open wide. Waiting.

But nothing comes out. I sigh and wave to him, saying goodbye. "I'll pick you up after class, okay? Wait for me." I smile one last time and walk away slowly.

But not before I hear him open the door, listening to his teacher welcoming him to class. I couldn't help but to linger in the hall. Waiting for something.

When I finally got it. "Ichigo Kirosaki."

Oh God. His name.

I closed my eyes and smiled. I thought about what red head said and muttered, "Ta hell with my dad. Ta hell with everyone. Who gives a shit about different people."

I don't care if Ichigo is a retard- autistic, I think- at least he still has a heart. Which normal people don't seem to have nowadays.

I walk. Clanking my shoes against the loud floor. Wondering the halls.

Waiting for something.

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**A/N: **Dude. Intense.

I promise more to come! More suggestions please? Tell me how you thought about it? Review? Please? Yay!

I am for real in love with Grimmjow in this story. :) I hope you are too.

I love you!

'Til next time,

-Tom Rhymer-


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Uhhhhh. Don't hit me? I know it has been an awful long time since I've updated, but don't rub it in, okay? I've been...ill if you will. Haha. _But anyway, _I wanted to clear something's up okay?

First of all a LOT of people ask me about Grimmjow in this story. If _he_ is autistic or has aspergers. And I am soooo sorry for the confusion again, but ONLY ICHIGO has autism. Grimmjow is OOC in this yes, but he is NOT autistic. He is homeless and just isn't used to a lot of people in general.

Also. People ask why Ichigo can't speak. Well, he's more severe and in his case, his brain doesn't function correctly, so neither does his speech. But try I will! I'll make him more appealing. Promise.

Thanks for your wonderful support guys! Lets make it to 100 by next chapter okay? Haha. I kid. I kid... :|

Enjoy, my preciouses.

**Disclaimer: **Big fat, juicy, delicious, scrumptious no.

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"Oh, come _on _Rukia. You _know _I can't this weekend, baby. I have practice." Renji sighed, desperate to get away from the whore. Cringing inwardly when he said baby. It disgusted him.

Rukia was known throughout the whole school as the _Whore Store_ because of her lack of civility and trust. She would be on another man the following day, and Renji just wouldnt have that happen again. The last time they did it, Renji found her having sex in the boys' bathroom with his _best friend, _Kaien.

Rukia grabbed a hold of his shirt tightly and rubbed her short, stubby legs against his thighs. Renji knew it wouldn't make him hard, so he brought his whole hand and pushed it right on her face, palm out. She gasped and let go quickly, anger clear as day rising on her still covered face.

Renji laughs and whispers, "You ain't gettin' none, sweetheart. Best be on your way." And started to leave. He's got other shit to worry about.

Rukia stomped her foot harshly against the floor and hmmphed. She was terrified of rejection. It means she was weak. She wasn't trying hard enough.

Suddenly, she had an idea. If Renji would humiliate her, why not do the same to him? Renji had _so many _secrets she dug up from other people. _So many secrets _that need to be told.

_Huh_, she thought, _I'm brilliant. Maybe then, he'll know he's worthless. Just like his brother. _

She pulls down her wrinkled shirt and smooths her hair roughly, creeping an _I-know-everything _smirk on her face. "You've got your ways...and I've got mine."

Rukia giggled a little to herself and began to strut, nose high in the air.

* * *

I finally see him.

Smiling, I cough in anticipation and squeeze my shoulder straps. I was more nervous than I needed to be. Sweat started to form on the top of my lip, which I quickly disregarded as soon as Ichigo was in view. He just got out of his classroom; he was murmuring incoherent things to himself, his eyes over everything in the hallway- as if in suspicion.

I hurriedly reached over to him saying, "Ichigo! Hey...I mean-I...It _is Ichigo_ right? Hehe..." I scratch the back of my head in embarrassment and look to the ground. I sound like a stalker. Calm your balls, man.

"Mmmnhhhmm..." Ichigo made a sort of choking noise, so I immediately looked at his face to make sure he was okay. I _expected_ a frown or a purple, dying face of discomfort, but when I _looked_ at him, he had the biggest smile I've ever seen on _any_ face. And that was when I knew. The choking noise was him laughing.

My eyes turned gentle and I breathed out a chuckle, finding his features even more gracious and beautiful. Especially the way Ichigo's luscious, plump mouth opened up a little so I could see his perfect teeth.

I never really cared about my sexuality. I know I like both men and women. It never even crossed my mind when I was with my dad, because who the hell knows what he could've done to me if I told him. Id probably be dead. But it was hard. Keeping secrets. It was hard to admit to something so big that could change your whole view of life. That's why I left. And that's why I'm beginning to change.

All of a sudden, Ichigo's hand that was not holding his books touched my left cheek. And the first time since I ran into Ichigo this morning, did we make eye contact. He looked right through me, lightly brushing his warm fingers against me. Calming me down ever so slowly.

How can he do that? It's like he's using magic or something.

"Wha."

I let out a harsh breath and realize what we're doing. I bring down his hand with mine and I look at him weirdly. Confused. "What...Ichigo, what are you doing?"

He also looks away but doesn't let go of my hand, swinging them back and forth at the same pace as his humming. He's nodding really fast for no apparent reason as he repeatedly bites his bottom lip. I let go of his hand quickly and place it on his shoulder. I try to get him to relax, but I don't really know how.

Squeezing him gently I say, "Hey...Hey, man. Ca-calm down. I-I didn't mean to like, be mean or anything. It was j-just kind of...weird. I'm sorry." But he pays no attention. His humming gets louder and louder until I let go of him completely and put my hands in the air in shock.

"Nnnaaa. Kkkkaaaayyyy...O-Okkaaayyy..." My eyes widen.

He brings his hand out again for me to take and places it on his chest. His hand is over mine as we both feel his heart beat flutter. I sigh and wait for an explanation. He looks deeply at me again and I look at him back. Still, I am waiting for something. Anything. His hand over mine is beginning to make me feel strange inside, so I cough for him to let go, gently trying to pull away.

Ichigo presses harder and whispers in my ear, "Iiiichigooooo." And as soon as he does that, our hands find their way to _my _chest.

"Uhh." I mutter. So very confused right now.

But Ichigo's face is lit up like a Christmas Tree, his eyebrows going up above his hairline. Like he was waiting for _me _to say something.

"Huh? I-I don't understand, Ichigo."

He presses hard again on my chest with his hand, humming loudly. Smiling and waiting with those damn eyebrows. I shrug my shoulders, not catching the joke or whatever was going on.

He sighs and makes that adorable choking sound again, bringing our hands back to him and repeating what he said earlier, "Iiiichigooooo."

And again, he brings our hands back to my chest. His eyebrows still in the sky.

Suddenly, I laugh. Louder than I've ever laughed in _years. _Because I'm and idiot. A dumb-ass idiot. "Ichigo. I get it now. Haha..."

"My name. Is Grimm-"

RIIIING! The late bell finally rings and the people rushing between us separates our hands.

"Uh-I-I gotta go now. See-see you later? I'll, I'll uh...I can take you home afterwards if that-that's alright? I mean-I'll..."

Ichigo laughs, nodding. His eyes are full of trust and I can't help but to smile back. Giving him the same look of hope. I sigh in content and wave.

I look behind me one last time before I head to the last period of the day. "Mmm.." I started humming a song in my head, the same one Ichigo had done.

Licking my lips, I zoned out of everything around me. Finally arriving to my class, I thought, 'His beauty is the clearest thing I've ever seen. It's so pure.'

Ichigo still stood in the hall a few more seconds after I left. Slowly raising his hand to wave back at no one. "Grimm."

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**A/N: **Cool. Thanks guys for reading! Tell me what you think? Review? Pershiate it!

Oh! And that thing about Rukia and Renji...yeah...there's something else to this story guy's. Something BIG. Renji's character is just developing! And you'll be shocked...

So. Kiss a llama. Live in love. Bye.

Till next time...

-Tom Rhymer-


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